(No, really hear me out!)
Still reading?
Ok, Great!!
I don't about you but the word Narcissism seems to be tossed out frequently around me. Even clients are coming in talking about people they have Google diagnosed.
I won't rant about how difficult it is to have people randomly diagnose strangers, themselves or loved ones without training, scales, tests, exams, a license, and of course without "objectivity" - I mean seriously even with all that - I'm not able to diagnose myself or anyone I care about...including with autism and narcissism.
Oh, wait I just ranted, sorry!
Carrying on ...
Have you SEEN all this narcissism messaging?
I recently had a patient "needing" me to see her partner who she knows is definitely a narcissist - because you know Tik Tok and it's "common sense" (she was at least sheepish when I called that out).
BUT.... I had a look because ...well..why not? She really was concerned.
And ..guess what?
It wasn't Narcissism it was...Autism!
Yup!
Autism and Narcissism. Often confused.
After a thorough assessment, this couple can get on their way with managing their expectations of each other, creating intimacy, and having their needs met through the autism and narcissism debate.
The stigma around Narcissism the misunderstanding of what it is, how it is formed, and how to treat and interact with it often prevents people from seeing the bigger picture.
If you believe your parent or partner is narcissistic - chances are you've been hurt.
Like really hurt.
That's your experience, that's your reality and you have every right to it and to your healing.
Absolutely.
"People are not disposeable"
You also have a right to better understand what is truly happening and how to repair it with the person and with yourself.
People aren't disposable. Everyone has a story. Everyone wants to love and be loved. You can play a part in moving the relationship forward if that's still a safe and healthy space for you.
People with Autism often seem to be "self-involved, lacking empathy, only task-oriented, unable to emote and unfold out of themselves to ask questions about you, showing interest" - these are all similar traits to narcissism and that's why autism and narcissism often get confused.
But it's not the kind of narcissistic situation to pack your bags and run from.
The damaging narcissism situations include verbal and emotional abuse, needing you to constantly compliment and praise them, damaging lies and manipulation, and above all the intention of hurting you.
Rather than, in the case of Autism just plain "not getting it" or "being wired differently".
Most people who suffer from narcissism (and yes I meant to say suffer because it has its costs as well) - may have experienced some form of childhood trauma or neglect.
This means - it's treatable in most cases once you've understood the differences between autism and narcissism.
The treatment we have seen most effective for it is indeed EMDR and in some cases EMDR in Couple Counselling so both partners can identify and address the underlying maladaptive attachment patterns and traumas.
Curious to learn more? Reach out HERE and book a meet and greet we're happy to assess and see if it's a situation we can help out with!
Our Team is comprised of advanced-level clinicians who are passionate about the work we do! You can reach out to any of us for intake, questions or to book an appointment any time HERE!
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